Friday, June 21, 2013

the inevitable and the unknown

potted succulents by ceck0face
potted succulents, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

I felt like staying in bed all day. I couldn't remember the last time I watered my plants. And I really like my plants. So I decided to get out of bed for my plants. How sad does that sound? I dunno.

In fact during February/March/April when I was racking up my frequent flyer miles at the hospital, my husband and neighbors were not watering my plants and a few died. I was furious. They tried to convince me that my care took precedence but they're just little plants. Okay-- I'll stop.

So I'm up. I have a bit of an emotional hangover-- is that a phrase? Is that a thing? It feels like it. My face feels like it cried a marathon. My head also feels two sizes too big.

For maybe the first time, I'm thankful that I don't have a job to report to. I can just stay home and let my body do her thing. That's not to say that waiting for the inevitable and the unknown is any easier. It just means-- well you get it.

Did I tell you I gave up soda? I gave up soda. In the psychiatric hospital actually. They didn't have soda and whatever combination of pills I was therapeutic on was preventing me from getting withdrawal headaches. I used to drink A LOT of soda. Six or seven cans a day. Maybe more. I had tried many a Lent to give it up for good but the headaches always had me crawling back. Getting that soda pop monkey off my back was really a blessing for being pregnant.

But let's just say I had a giant soda last night. I guess it's my silver syrup lining.

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