Tuesday, April 23, 2013

found or refound

streaks of rain by Digital Heather
streaks of rain, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

Long story short, I'm okay. I have a new understanding of life-- especially my own. I learned a new appreciation for my husband-- which is probably easy to do when your spouse abandons you in the hospital, but you know what I mean. And I found or refound my love or maybe new love for my father. My relationship with him has been weird since he left my mom almost ten years ago. But he was there for me. He visited me in the hospital when I had no one. He picked me up when I was discharged and didn't have a ride. He believed me. I'm not sure who believes me when I say that I don't remember much of what happened or what I did. But my dad believes me.

This all began when I thought I was depressed and sought help for that. They said my depression stemmed from my endometriosis and all of the trauma it was causing to my body and my brain. Fast forward and they now say I wasn't depressed. I was misdiagnosed. I was mismanaged and mismedicated.

I just want to move on. It's all another feather in my hat. Probably not the prettiest feather but I'm not looking to hide it either. My surgery has been moved to April 25th. I just want to get this done and feel better and get my life back. Not even back on track-- just back. I just know that once that happens and I feel better everything will get better.

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