Friday, April 19, 2013

I was okay

Bowie at window by Digital Heather
Bowie at window, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

Everything has been going extremely well.

I haven't wanted to jinx anything, so I've just been chilling. Living under the radar even. I deleted my Facebook and it was one of the most liberating things ever. Almost as liberating as actually telling certain people that, "You're not welcome in my life anymore. At all. Ever."

It's a good feeling. Living for myself that is. Not worrying what someone is going to think or say-- not that I truly worried before but there was a lot of consequential drama of course.

It's been two months since I went crazy-- except I don't really say that word anymore. Two months since I was hospitalized. When I became an adult I decided to stop throwing around adjectives like "gay" or "retarded" because there's nothing cool about being a jerk. In the same fashion, I stopped calling people crazy when I had a) seen what that word really means up close when living with people who were truly struggling and b) used every ounce of my being to convince everyone I loved that I was okay and that I was suffering from side effects of anti-depressants.

It's tough. But that's life.

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