when you open your mouth

29th birthday, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

So it happened. I turned 29. It was a pretty good birthday. My husband and I are now the same age for six months.

I remarkably lost weight, but don't ask me how. About fifteen lbs or more. I wasn't trying to. In fact, I have wanted to lose weight but haven't done anything about it. I figured I would be gaining more weight during my baking/blogging month which went so-so, btw. I look at my wedding photos from 9 months ago and can definitely see a difference. And my jeans are so loose and practically falling down. It's a great feeling but honestly, I would rather be huge and pregnant and ready to pop.

Eight months of baby trying so far. I can't get frustrated yet, and I'm not. God has been very good to my husband and I. My parents tried for three years to have me. I'd probably be a lot more patient if I had the luxury of time instead of a painful disease that's going untreated. Speaking of which... I'm going to start doing acupuncture for my endometriosis pain. I don't want to live my life on pain killers every day. Plus it will decrease stress and promote fertility. It's an all-round good choice as long as I can physically/mentally handle it. I hate needles. And with good reason. I hated them my whole life and in the past year, between a PIC line, hit nerve, and multiple collapsed veins-- I only like them less.

Work is fantastic. My only complaint is my borderline frustration with kids who do want to read but only want to read one series or type of book and shut down all other ideas. A little girl was arguing with her mother today because she only wants to read a children's series called The Magic Treehouse. Someone had bought us out of what we had and all of my and her mother's suggestions weren't good enough. Anne of Green Gables. Black Beauty. The Secret Garden. Nancy Drew. Little House on the Prairie. Judy Blume. None of these were good enough for her. She wouldn't even look at them. It's a teeny bit offensive because these are great books. She kept shooting me looks like I was an idiot for suggesting them and also from another planet. Is this what parenthood is going to be like? I want my children to read well at an early age and truly love it, but I don't want them to be snobby elitists who only read contemporary gimmicks and scoff classics.

A similar pet peeve is as follows: two people come in, one who genuinely wanted to come in and the other who is being dragged. The person who is there against his or her will always crosses the threshold and immediately says something like, "I hate books," "I don't read," "This place is boring," or all of the above. Do they understand how unintelligent they sound? I always end up thinking that they didn't even need to say it out-loud because I can tell. If it's a teenager who can't properly form sentences or use the correct tense or if they speak in double negatives I find myself thinking, "Yeah, I can tell you don't read because if you did you would probably make sense when you open your mouth." If it's an adult, the previous examples usually fit in addition to the tell-tale signs of what a lack of literature and reading has done for them, their career, and life choices.

Okay, now I sound like an elitist.

Global warming

beatnik mermaid, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

Job perk! Putting together random Legos to sell. This is beatnik mermaid. She comes complete with black turtleneck, cup of coffee and journal. She cares about issues. Global warming. Our oceans. Women's rights. The usual.

this month

pop cultured, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

This is the mailing list / newsletter for our customers this month. I came to work and was totally surprised. This totally makes my day!! I needed this. Thanks :)

Story of my life.

animal windows, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

I first visited the museum of natural history back in 2004 when my husband and I were dating. I fell in love with it for so many reasons-- I love museums for one, but there are so many more reasons. I see this picture and feel two things. I want to go back to NY (for even more reasons) and I get the urge to watch Night at the Museum. I took this picture because seeing the multitude of windows simultaneously for the first time and every time stirs such a wonderful feeling inside me.

We're going back to New York for a wedding in October and I simply cannot wait. I love New York so much. I think I grew up wishing I could live there someday or was that just everyone else's dream in practically every movie? If you told me I'd be living in my hometown for 30 years, I would have corrected you. I had such big plans as a teenager and young adult. I was going to shake the dust from my kicks (and not just figuratively, I live in the desert) and move on to greener pastures (again, literally greener).

I'm not disappointed. And I'm not reliving my decisions and mistakes at 2:30 in the morning because my birthday is coming, I promise. I still tell myself that someday, I'll live in New York. And I will. I have said goodbye to so many people who have left to live life in a different place and sometime it will be my turn. My goodbye. My going away.

But anyway. Getting back to it. I love any excuse to buy a new dress or new shoes. I don't think I've worn a dress since my wedding and it's killing me. Okay, probably not. I'll also get to spend time with my mother-in-law which is nice.

I think another one of my recipes won, although I could be completely wrong. I noticed a--- we shall call it a glitch in the Matrix?-- and I think I found a correlation between a certain something and a recipe that wins. My finding doesn't make it win... it's just more of a "dog ear."

I'm only up to Day 12 - Classic Banana Bread with Chocolate Chips

I'm not losing steam, just running out of train tracks? I have to finish this because I never finish anything. Story of my life. But also... my husband and I can only eat so much food. I wish I could donate perishable food. Maybe I can. Ideally, I could just invite my friends on Facebook to come over and eat a bunch of desserts and give me feedback. Sounds easy enough but people rarely take us up on the offer-- even when there aren't any ulterior motives or conditions. I have come to the conclusion that my husband and I are boring hosts. That's what I really wanted to say all along.

Goodnight.

nine days and 19 recipes left

pink popcorn, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

I had some kind of stomach bug the other day and it completely threw off my rhythm. I have nine days and 19 recipes left. I can do this.

Oh, I didn't even tell you. One of my recipes won! I'm happy of course, but since winning wasn't the goal, I'm still pushing til the end of the month. If a second recipe won, I'd be on cloud nine. I don't think I've ever used that expression. What does that say about me / the situation. Hmm.

Called my dad on Father's day. He was hoping I was calling with baby news, but nope, not yet. He then proceeded to tell me the ins and outs of the time one of our horses was struggling to get pregnant. True dad fashion.

Food break down.

Day 08 - Old Fashioned Coffee Cake with Chocolate Icing
Day 09 - No-Bake Double Berry Cake Squares
Day 10 - Pink Strawberry Popcorn Balls
Day 11 - Heavenly Carrot Soufflé

More another time.

some serious mileage

making popsicles!, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

I think I forgot I was taking a picture of the popsicle. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm a conceited camera hog or whore-- who knows.

The ants in my kitchen are back. I can't blame them. My kitchen has been smelling delicious lately. I'm putting some serious mileage on my kitchenware. I want a standalone mixer and I need a food processor. Notice I specified between the want and need. I also want a blender I saw the other day just because it's turquoise. I already have one. But you know me. Or do you?

Day 1 - Ciabatta Bread Pudding
Day 2 - French Lace Cookie Cups with Fresh Fruit
Day 3 - Cherry Craisin Oat Bars
Day 4 - Cinnamon Raisin Bread Pudding Cake
Day 5 - Peach Moo Milkshake
Day 6 - Chocolate Buttermilk Bread
Day 7 - Simple Potato Scones

Technically, I'm only two days behind.

normal or boring

ackbar in my pocket, a photo by Digital Heather on Flickr.

What do people do at two in the morning? Well technically, I wonder what they do from about 1am-4am. I personally don't think I could get any more normal or boring, but then again, I haven't tried. I sleep. If I can't sleep, I'm watching tv, reading reddit, online. Nothing special. Right now. Writing this. In the background, I have photos uploading so I can finish a recipe article (day 6, four down, gotta catch up). In another window, I have Gwen Mars playing and I'm certain I'm the only person who likes them and owns their cds. It reminds me of being a teenager (16 in 1999), and doing exactly the same thing, I guess. Trying to type quietly so my parents wouldn't yell at me for being on the computer so late although these days it's more like trying to type quietly because my husband and dog are light sleepers. I'm a loud type-r. Typist. I type loudly.

I had no intention of saying any of this but I got an update that someone favorited a photo on my flickr. Not this one. Of me. Of all of me. It's nothing special but I wonder why someone would like it and favorite it at this hour. I'm so naive. (I had "naive" spelled incorrectly and didn't know until google chrome told me. I lost a regional spelling bee because I couldn't spell it when I was 13. And I still can't.) When I looked at their profile I couldn't see them but saw all of their other favorites. I think you get it. Am I flattered or disgusted? I dunno. I guess it's perfectly normal and I guess the wallflower in me wants to tuck it away as a compliment. In a book of compliments which I don't have but if I did it would be fairly empty. Oh sure. I get complimented. On how patient I am. Yep. Not really worth bragging or blogging about but here we are.